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Terms of EngagementSuggested questions for discussion.
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1. What prevents father and son in the various stories from connecting with one another?
2. What central themes emerge from the collection’s nine stories?
3. Think of some of the fathers in the stories. What does each think he knows about his son that turns out to be wrong?
4. Think of some of the sons in the stories. What does each think he knows about his father that turns out to be wrong?
5. What don’t father and son in each story know about the other?
6. In this #Metoo era, what role does masculinity play in the collection’s stories? How do the fathers model masculinity to their sons?
7. Given your own father/son experience, what experiences in the collection resonate with you?
8. Are you sympathetic to the fathers and sons portrayed in the collection? To some more than others? If so, why?
9. If you could have intervened in each story, how would you have attempted to heal the wounds that estrange father and son? What might you have said?
10. As a son, if you have (or had) a loving relationship with your father, how would you describe that experience? How would you describe your experience if it was less than loving?
11. If you are the father of a son, how would you describe your role in creating and maintaining a loving relationship? What are your responsibilities?
12. As a son, if you could tell (or could have told) your father to alter just one behavior towards you, what would it be?
13. As a son, what did you most want from your father that you never received?
14. If you are the father of a son, what do you think he most wants from you that he may not have received?
15. How open is the emotional relationship between you and your son?
16. How emotionally open is (or was) the emotional relationship between you and your father?
17. In the story, “Father,” John expresses his fear he will transfer the sins of his father to his son. Does that fear
resonate with your experience as a father?
18. Do you think your relationship with your father has impacted (or will impact) the way you parent your son? If
so, how?
2. What central themes emerge from the collection’s nine stories?
3. Think of some of the fathers in the stories. What does each think he knows about his son that turns out to be wrong?
4. Think of some of the sons in the stories. What does each think he knows about his father that turns out to be wrong?
5. What don’t father and son in each story know about the other?
6. In this #Metoo era, what role does masculinity play in the collection’s stories? How do the fathers model masculinity to their sons?
7. Given your own father/son experience, what experiences in the collection resonate with you?
8. Are you sympathetic to the fathers and sons portrayed in the collection? To some more than others? If so, why?
9. If you could have intervened in each story, how would you have attempted to heal the wounds that estrange father and son? What might you have said?
10. As a son, if you have (or had) a loving relationship with your father, how would you describe that experience? How would you describe your experience if it was less than loving?
11. If you are the father of a son, how would you describe your role in creating and maintaining a loving relationship? What are your responsibilities?
12. As a son, if you could tell (or could have told) your father to alter just one behavior towards you, what would it be?
13. As a son, what did you most want from your father that you never received?
14. If you are the father of a son, what do you think he most wants from you that he may not have received?
15. How open is the emotional relationship between you and your son?
16. How emotionally open is (or was) the emotional relationship between you and your father?
17. In the story, “Father,” John expresses his fear he will transfer the sins of his father to his son. Does that fear
resonate with your experience as a father?
18. Do you think your relationship with your father has impacted (or will impact) the way you parent your son? If
so, how?